I have been limited to my seat for this entire week. I've been trying to hold my fort with depression. While this doesnt help it keeps me away from prying eyes of the public. I was busy on my Blackberry when I felt someone standing behind the glass door next to my seat
- Mat! in my favourite gray shirt, wearing a smirky grin and waving in slow motion. It was most surprising. Just when I try to hide the most from him he shows up like an appirition! I quickly collected my face hoping not to give away the gloom within. He gestured if I was well. I bobbed my head saying I was fine and formed words to ask him how he was. He did not agree that I was well. Who was I kidding? He knows my face too well to buy my lies. So he went ahead
signalling he will message on BBM. Lieing to him is the most difficult! He is too fast to see through them...at least when the lies are from me. Now how the hell do I tell him that I miss him to an extent where all hell
breaks loose, the world around me seems to crumble and I just spiral into this whirlpool of melancholy. As he grinned at me I kept thinking...oh what an ignorant man! He has no idea of the storm brewing at my end. How can I ever come clean with how I feel. It will be a folly of distancing him away. It might also be the cause to make him laugh and state "Oh what a desperate, needy soul she is! just look at her! utterly foolish of a woman". Ignorance is indeed a bliss for him.In many ways I am still a foolish child unable to accept the bitter realities of life. The only difference is I cant rave and rant like one but I do that silently. I don't who I am to Mat; a timely phase of having a good time, a revered fantasy he always wished for but never had or just a passer by. What I do know is that he is becoming dearer to me by the day. More and more of my happiness, smiles and laughter are turning out to be attributed to him. When the stakes of ones life are wrapped around one person, you are in for a turbulent ride. A ride over which you have no control because you have relinquished it already! If that is not the love of a blinded foolish woman, what would be? I remember now, when I met him I was scared of knowing him, as I came to know him, I was scared of liking him, when I began to like him,I was scared of loving him, now that I'm falling in love with him, I am scared of losing him.
But they say you can never lose what you never had...yet this feeling.
- Mat! in my favourite gray shirt, wearing a smirky grin and waving in slow motion. It was most surprising. Just when I try to hide the most from him he shows up like an appirition! I quickly collected my face hoping not to give away the gloom within. He gestured if I was well. I bobbed my head saying I was fine and formed words to ask him how he was. He did not agree that I was well. Who was I kidding? He knows my face too well to buy my lies. So he went ahead
signalling he will message on BBM. Lieing to him is the most difficult! He is too fast to see through them...at least when the lies are from me. Now how the hell do I tell him that I miss him to an extent where all hell
breaks loose, the world around me seems to crumble and I just spiral into this whirlpool of melancholy. As he grinned at me I kept thinking...oh what an ignorant man! He has no idea of the storm brewing at my end. How can I ever come clean with how I feel. It will be a folly of distancing him away. It might also be the cause to make him laugh and state "Oh what a desperate, needy soul she is! just look at her! utterly foolish of a woman". Ignorance is indeed a bliss for him.In many ways I am still a foolish child unable to accept the bitter realities of life. The only difference is I cant rave and rant like one but I do that silently. I don't who I am to Mat; a timely phase of having a good time, a revered fantasy he always wished for but never had or just a passer by. What I do know is that he is becoming dearer to me by the day. More and more of my happiness, smiles and laughter are turning out to be attributed to him. When the stakes of ones life are wrapped around one person, you are in for a turbulent ride. A ride over which you have no control because you have relinquished it already! If that is not the love of a blinded foolish woman, what would be? I remember now, when I met him I was scared of knowing him, as I came to know him, I was scared of liking him, when I began to like him,I was scared of loving him, now that I'm falling in love with him, I am scared of losing him.
But they say you can never lose what you never had...yet this feeling.
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