Never have I felt so shattered as I did today. We were going to meet after more than two months. Mat messaged me after 10:00 AM today. He was running errands left right and center. Bank issues, money changer, dealing with office travel etc. We had plans to meet right after maghreb.
Of course as always, the plan ran off course. With many issues jumping in. I was so frustrated that I nearly fought with him! and then I remembered just how much I adore this foolish man that as long as I see him nothing matters. And so at a quarter to 8:00 PM he picked me from the bookshop. He had been slaving away the whole day and looked worked up. My heart sank at his sight. I wont be seeing this magical face for several months and in a few months it will move away at a distance which will more or less be eternity! THIS FACE! THIS PERSON! THIS WORLD! It was hard to gulp my tears. We chatted and he held my hand and kissed it very lovingly three times in a row. With each kiss my heart ached more and more even though I was talking of gibberish. He wanted to go to Kohsar but I told him not to. The elites of our office are often found there! So we took our usual route. We had an hour at max. He still had to pack and shave and have a hair cut! so much to do. His tiny munchkins had left their drinks in the car and they spilled over mat's feet. I wore tights with a cheeta shirt, brown boots, tights (his favourite) and a beige jacket, he wore his track suit, in black, blue and gray. He was really tired, my precious one. We just drove along. As we headed back from the toll plaza area into the side road of G-11 he turned towards me and kissed me. I still had polo in my mouth. We then kissed several times and at one point I just gave up and held him by the neck kissing him with a need not known before. The need to hold him back here with me., forever and ever. I told him how much I would miss him and then with the naive innocense of a lost and forlorn child I pleaded with him not to go. As if I was totally oblivious that he had to go! He looked at my face while telling me he would miss me too! I wanted to absorb all of him in me. It was like I was trying to grasp sand in my palms and it would flow mercilessly until no grain was left with me; empty handed and remorseful. I held on to his arm fiercely, a part of me believed at that moment that if I held on strongly he would stay by me. I wished with the will of a headstrong child and the naivity of a newborn where the world is enchanted with fairy dust and fairy wings. Where wishes take flight at a mere thought. Where tears don't roll down and smiles flutter like fresco butterflies. So I rested my feeble head on his strong shoulder. What joy would be greater than the magical touch and intimate closeness of a man who means everything. At that moment my entire world was collected there and then in this embrace. One insignificant ordinary mortal of a man; millions of whom are out there and yet he is the only significant extraordinary one! He kissed my head 2-3 times in deep silence. My heart ached everytime he did it. I could hear him breathing deeply almost resigned. I felt him everytime! So he dropped me home and I hurriedly stole one last kiss from him and gave him his birthday cufflinks.
Mat will you ever know how much this foolish woman loves you. She really needs you.
Of course as always, the plan ran off course. With many issues jumping in. I was so frustrated that I nearly fought with him! and then I remembered just how much I adore this foolish man that as long as I see him nothing matters. And so at a quarter to 8:00 PM he picked me from the bookshop. He had been slaving away the whole day and looked worked up. My heart sank at his sight. I wont be seeing this magical face for several months and in a few months it will move away at a distance which will more or less be eternity! THIS FACE! THIS PERSON! THIS WORLD! It was hard to gulp my tears. We chatted and he held my hand and kissed it very lovingly three times in a row. With each kiss my heart ached more and more even though I was talking of gibberish. He wanted to go to Kohsar but I told him not to. The elites of our office are often found there! So we took our usual route. We had an hour at max. He still had to pack and shave and have a hair cut! so much to do. His tiny munchkins had left their drinks in the car and they spilled over mat's feet. I wore tights with a cheeta shirt, brown boots, tights (his favourite) and a beige jacket, he wore his track suit, in black, blue and gray. He was really tired, my precious one. We just drove along. As we headed back from the toll plaza area into the side road of G-11 he turned towards me and kissed me. I still had polo in my mouth. We then kissed several times and at one point I just gave up and held him by the neck kissing him with a need not known before. The need to hold him back here with me., forever and ever. I told him how much I would miss him and then with the naive innocense of a lost and forlorn child I pleaded with him not to go. As if I was totally oblivious that he had to go! He looked at my face while telling me he would miss me too! I wanted to absorb all of him in me. It was like I was trying to grasp sand in my palms and it would flow mercilessly until no grain was left with me; empty handed and remorseful. I held on to his arm fiercely, a part of me believed at that moment that if I held on strongly he would stay by me. I wished with the will of a headstrong child and the naivity of a newborn where the world is enchanted with fairy dust and fairy wings. Where wishes take flight at a mere thought. Where tears don't roll down and smiles flutter like fresco butterflies. So I rested my feeble head on his strong shoulder. What joy would be greater than the magical touch and intimate closeness of a man who means everything. At that moment my entire world was collected there and then in this embrace. One insignificant ordinary mortal of a man; millions of whom are out there and yet he is the only significant extraordinary one! He kissed my head 2-3 times in deep silence. My heart ached everytime he did it. I could hear him breathing deeply almost resigned. I felt him everytime! So he dropped me home and I hurriedly stole one last kiss from him and gave him his birthday cufflinks.
Mat will you ever know how much this foolish woman loves you. She really needs you.
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