CV

I spent half of my day at work redoing mat's CV. He wants to apply to Telenor for a job. I finished before 6:00 PM. He had a call at 6:00 PM. He was sitting upstairs in the conference room, dressed in his gray shirt and black trousers, with medium stubble. My favourite look of his. As I peeked through the door, telling him about his CV, I felt so weak in the knees. A rush of excitement and nervousness that I always feel when I am with him. As I said goodbye, he took this long animated look at me with a smile. As I headed down, I realized, if there is a day when I cant see him or talk to him, how crazily I will miss him. The realization made me teary. All the way home, I had glassy eyes, wondering how we would be as time passes by. He is here and yet I miss him. When and if he isn't, how miserable will it be? How much more? I miss him because I am scared of the day I will actually start missing him.

The curse is back

Today was supposed to be our last iftar together. We didn't chat the whole and nearly sometime before packup Mat messaged me that he had to cancel because of a last minute meeting call at 9:00 PM. I was so crushed. The curse of missed out candlestine meetings was back upon us. We could squeeze in a quick meeting but he was not nearly upto it since we would have to gobble up our food and rush back home for him to make it back in time. How I seethed in anger. Felt really sad.

Pulling me down

Our altercation with the Police on Friday has left me soar. I cant help feeling that Mat is withdrawn after the incident. He seemed slightly remote. A feeling that may highten when I am absent. Even though he cheered me up and said there was still one iftar left I still cant fight the feeling. After the officers left and he drove, i felt remote. The hand that is always intertwined in mine was on the gear. He is ALWAYS the one to hold me first. Its not my pride that prevents me, I just find it gallant and wonderfully welcoming that he be the first to do it.

3rd@ Dynasty

We had our third iftari today; dynasty.I wore a black and white tiger print with a pink panel in the middle with black tights. This is just what Mat ordered; accessible. We sat at the same table as last time and had a lovely time. We ate sweet and sour prawns with chowmein. Mat wanted me to order today :)  The attendance in Marriott was very heavy today. Huwawei had an iftar reception. There were many people out in the enterance so we ditched the idea of smoking altogether. Mat told me that he had met a colleague on his way in. I think I also heard someone say "V-Govern" outside the bathroom door while I freshened up. When we finished we decided to go out separately. Mat met bubbloo on his way out. I waited for the green signal. A while later I headed out and walked till ETC where Mat was parked.

An alien longing

Today was our second Iftar together. We order Kung Pao chicken, egg fried rice and chicken in some honey sauce. I wore a black trouser with a shirt; Mat likes this one, plus it was very accessible to him. He wore my favourite navy blue t-shirt with jeans. I didnt get my usual table today so we had to sit somewhere in the middle on a small table.