I kept my fingers crossed today. I and Mat decided to meet at our usual coffee place today. The day progressed with our usual chat. I decided to leave a bit early to run some errands and then message him to meet me. Somewhere after 4:30 ish pm I stopped receiving his messages and thought that he had dozed off! and then the most unfortunate happened. BBM stopped working at all. Our messages were stuck and by the time I found this out I was already seething in extreme anger. We ended up communicating over text messages. I waited for him in our coffee place. He turned up at 7:30 in gray sweats, gray lacoste and joggers. Saturday gear I guess. Our meeting was short and edgy because we lost precious time. I hinted at mat about what all had been going on in the office. He swore at some things and was quiet at others. I felt so remote and disconnected from him while saying all this. While my hearts jumps and lurches at seeing him; the joy being immeasurable, a part of me is constantly searching for missing answers. The answers I, perhaps, will never have. The answers he can't provide.
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