We talked

My bbm pinged before noon today. I secretly hoped it was mat and it was! He sent me a joke...of course a conversation opener.I was happy to hear from him. Though i know each and every way he functions and the insignificance of this exchange is clear on me, yet he means more to me than what he has done. So we ended up talking until he was scheduled to leave the office @ 8:00 pm. I raided his bbm with loads of jokes. He was really jovial and even gave me a kiss. I was surprised and told him he was in some mood today. He wanted to see me for amorous gratification of his senses. I am so many things he says, but tell me mat why am I not good enough for you to look past those things so that you can be how you used to be with me? Of course I was dodgy and playful when it came to a meeting of that kind. How can I invest in more pain for myself. He told me he had a flat at his disposal and I felt fallen in my own eyes, though I hid it with my playful replies. We  talked like we used to, laughed like we used to, we teased like we used but when there was silence, I cried like I never used to. I miss you each day. When I resign from missing you at night, I go to sleep and when morning awakes me I know that I have enough in me to miss you all over again.