Walls

His continued apathy reminds me of my time with my husband.when imran was busy refurbishing his brothers car, he lost all perspective of night and day. I had to remind him for regular stuff constantly and he would put me away until we bickered like dogs.While he nurtured the demands of his 30+ years old of a brother. Much later it was ramadan of sizzling heat and we were shifting while going to our respective workplaces as well. I barely had time to scratch my head, packing, shifting, fasting. In the heat of things, I skipped a few sehris because i was dead tired. i remembering waking up to the azaan one day. He was up eating in silence. He never woke me up put of spite. Right before our separation, he lambasted with derision "tu to sehrioun key liye bhee nahi uth-tee, mein khud uth-ta hoon......"
He is either too cold or too naive to recognize my failing when it comes to forgetting him. He is not to blame. I've fostered this feeling in him by hiding my emotions from him. I know how much he dislikes emotions, he masks himself instantly at teh slight of them, bundling a feeble self in walls of impermeability. No matter which way the wind blows, he just wont give in. Even if it means embracing, in his own words for me, an amazing woman. And so I suffer in the hope of hope against hope.