Temptation

Mat messaged me today. I was pleasantly surprised, messaging me on a weekend is always more pleasing. He was home alone and did not feel like going out so he stayed back instead. He was very keen on seeing me today and going all the way through. I find it tempting and mesmerizing because of this ever growinng surge of emotions in me for him. He on the other hand is plain driven by temptation. The heart is closed and the mind keeps giving in to the temptation called "me". We are on two totally different pages. I don't know what would have happened had he felt the same way as I do. It would have been a constant battle of morals versus feelings. Even now when I am the only one in it, I find it so hard to resist him. He exercises that kind of power over a feeble me. So when I mask his advances in my jokes, banters and teasers, I know how bad a liar I am and so does he. There is no denial in the fact of our desire for each other. However, mine springs from heartfelt emotion and his comes from whims of sheer temptation. This fact is even more hurtful. He felt like being with me and completing a union which by no means is carnal to me. He was even ready to pick me up. If I wanted to seize the moment for unloading that timely passionate zing, I would have. Knowing my true self, I know I will fall deeper for you once this chasm is crossed and you will not be found anywhere. Temptation once fullfilled, ebbs away like it was never there at all. Whilst yours will fade, mine will cease to evade. We kept fooling over bbm until I gave it a break for a while which is when I received his message "I guess you are busy" and a while later a little past 11:00 pm "Going to sleep, goodnight".