Severing ties

I have decided that from today onwards, I will not join my friends for tea or lunch. I didnt head down for tea, but nat called me for a lunch smoke so went anyways but she seemed distant.

A rude shock

As we headed downstairs for tea today, I asked nat if she would go home during lunch hour? she said not sure and then there was a pause "dekho shayad mat kay saath lunch per jaoon". I wasn't sure if I had heard right, so I asked her again and the same reply followed. I was stunned. Whatever smiles i was mustering since morning faded and I was lost. So I kept quiet as usual. I overheard her ask sana to go along with her but she refused due to prior committments. She noticed my silence and asked me pointedly what the hell was wrong. I spoke a blatant lie that i had a headache. Truth is my head was spinning. We went upstairs to smoke in the bathroom and she said if i wanted a med! How pinchingly caring. Later around close to 1:00 pm i called her, she didnt pick up her fone. So i headed towards sana's seat and there she was in her pristine glory all made up. So I asked her if she was going out and if she could drop me in F6. She said she couldnt because she was going with someone else. There was this very sly and conniving look in her eyes which I have never seen before. So I headed back to my seat collected my things to go downstairs. I sat on the ground floor and then i headed back up. I wanted to hide somewhere, unfelt and unnoticed.I spent my lunch break chatting away with jaudat and ibrahim on the pavement. Mat returned from lunch around 2:35 with two of his friends in tow. Nat returned a little after 3:00. She was way too curious about my whereabouts.

Whatsapp

nat told me that her watsapp was not working. Who does she go to for help? AAAh mat who else. Hello!! I have it too and I know the works darling but noo, never let a chummy chance pass by.Later as I, she and sana headed for tea, nat asked mat to come for tea. He shut his laptop, jumped up instantly like a goblin and was by our side. Tea was fine, regular chit chat and every moment weighing heavily on me.Later we 3 headed out for a smoke. I cudnt light up my cig it was too windy so mat lit it up for me, a familiar happening of days gone by. Nat headed early for upstairs. Mat stayed back as I finished my cig. As we were going up he headed towards a friend telling me to go ahead. I think the friend part was a deliberate last minute doing to prevent the world from seeing us go upstairs together.Sigh!

The interview

I had my interview at ovex today with an egyptian with a thick and pursed english accent. The interview went really well and in his own words he was happy with me and my profile. After I was done, I gave a long look to their office. It was gloomy and dark with low cielings and deathly quiet. I dont know why, but at that very moment I felt mat's roaring laughter peaking in my ears. It made me teary and I realized amidst the gloominess that even if i change my job, i will carry him in my head. The glumness made me choked at that moment and I just rushed out of the office thinking just how I will sit and adjust myself to this environment IF i have to. Then that heavily feeling of not having mat around tugged at me constantly.

and they chat...

nats bbm was constantly pinging, it was mat on the other side. The fone was right in my face so I saw it. Even caught two of mats most frequently used lines "Wah! enjoy!". The familiarity of those lines was pricking. He joined us for morning tea. I was deathly quiet as usual and he waved his hand at easked kia hua hai? khamosh kiun ho? Really mat? Do you really think that needs to be asked. The world of difference is such a happy one, it kills another in screaming silence. Like you do to me!
Later in the day i got a call from ovex for a senior technical writer position in cloud computing.

The birthday

mat came to nat to propose that we all go to lunch today. Its sana's birthday and the wheather is lovely. but she refused since she was busy at work.Later in the evening we all convened in the cafe to celebrate sana's birthday. I saw mat hanging around nat stealing bits of conversation. I was too busy in managing the cake.
I packed up ten minutes earlier today and sat on the ground floor to kill time. Mat was out too, he passed by with his friend and asked "kia hua? gaaree ka wait ker rahee ho?" and i just signaled a resigned reply by nodding my head. So he waved me a goodbye.

Double standards

Nat forgot her ciggarettes at home today. So who does she go to for ciggs? Mat.we were by the water dispenser. She went to the guest washroom and told em to go ahead and wait for her in the bathroom which i did. I came out to drink water when i saw her standing in mats room, talking and asking for ciggs. So i went back in. She comes into the bathroom and with a puzzled look what i was doing outside? told her i wanted water. So she tells me she went to the guest washroom to pinch bunny's ciggs but her pack was sealed so she asked mat instead. She hates lights and mat smokes lights so I proposed that she take them from my boss.To which she replies I dont want that kind of frankness with him. Strange Nat! and hypocritical too, you mind such frankness with mat whom you verbally abuse behind his back. You claim to be sick of his passes yet you run to him for ciggs...all in the name of giving him the benefit of the doubt! Maintaining a healthy working relationship!!!

nat stayed in the office till 9:00 pm yesterday. She was done with her work by 7:00 but stayed back anyways. She also told me that bunny gave mat a setting and he was also addressed on my issue. She never told me how she got to know of this though!
Nat messaged me to come to the cafe. When I reached she was already there with mat. They were having nandos and his sandwich. He offered me half of it too which i accepted heavily. When i reached the cafe he was saving daud's cell number which puzzled me.Nat told me she made him meet daud, he was here to drop her lunch.after lunch we went out for a smoke.in the middle of the smoke when nats fone rang she moved to a side. I saw mat looking at my face with that old piercing gaze for a brief moment. I am familiar with that gaze, its always there when he thinks I look hot while smoking. it send chills down my spine. The gaze was gone in a split second. I can never be wrong about his eyes!

Lunch?

Mat raised his lunch box at me "Lunch?" as i passed by him for Nat. Nat was in the bathroom. I guess he didn't find her on her seat so just randomly said what he said!